Sorry Not in Service

Look

 

 

Gordano!

 

Today is gonna be the day

That they're gonna throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do, about you now

Back beat, the word was on the street

That the fire in your heart is out

I'm sure you've heard it all before

But you never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I

Would like to say to you but I don't know how

Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me

And after all, you're my latest Sorry Not in Service podcast etc and so on...

Clean Windows

Gordano!

 

Welcome you hoary old dogs to this extra special Sorry Not in Service podcast. 'Why so special?' We hear you splutter as you finish off your 4th pint of beefshake. Well, it features not one, not two, but TWO of your regular presenters PLUS the extraordinary comic stylings of our brother Richard. He really is a #ultramegadude and a mean compiler of all things.

 

We discuss Richard's Top 5, his advice for Simon about child rearing, and our memories of Richard's yute/yoot/yout (delete as correct). We also neatly put the PodPodCageCage feature to bed.

 

Some might call this the most self indulgent Sorry Not in Service ever, but they would be fools to do so because they are doofuses. You wouldn't want to be a doofus now would you?

 

Gordano!

The Birth of a Child That Nobody Wants

Gordano!

 

Dear competition winner. You have been selected ENTIRELY AT RANDOM to receive a complimentary Sorry Not in Service podcast. It is both lightweight and Ab enhancing. Furthermore, for ease of use you can listen to it using your ears.

 

All that we ask from you in return is that you are kind about us to your friends and kin, and overlook the poor audio quality / poor audio found within. One of us was ill and the other was in a funk. See if you can work out which was which.

 

In many ways it was the perfect level of incompetence and disinterest in our listeners to mark our 100th podcast.

 

Gordano!

Podcast 3

Gordano!

 

Person A: 'Fancy meeting you here, you're looking well. Have you had a nose job?' 

 

Person A: 'I thought so.'

 

Person A: 'Yes, Dr Dexter is a marvel with a scalpel isn't he? Anyway, must dash, I've got a baked potato in the oven and it won't butter, cheese, tuna mayo and side salad itself now will it?'

 

Person A: 'Actually, just before I pop off can I give you the latest Sorry Not in Service podcast? It's Podcast 3 (see title) and is 42 minutes long. Yes you're right, that IS one minute less cumbersome than a PodCage podcast. It's got a dog, an Audio Pictionary competition, Will not being drunk and some admin in it. It really is the full ticket.'

 

Person A: 'What's that?'

 

Person A: 'You'll treasure it forever?'

 

Person A: 'That's right, you will.'

 

Person A: 'Now bugger off.'

 

Corpse A: *continued reverential silence*

 

Gordano!

NO

Gordano!

 

Check you out with your internet connection. Ooooh la-di-daa, aren't you just Lord/Lady Muck with your cutting edge technology? Well Lord/Lady Muck, we are your humble servants and will bow and scrape to you and your every whim.

 

Speaking of which, that whim you had to download and listen to a nice fresh Sorry Not in Service podcast has been fulfilled. Here it is! 

 

In this one, Simon has doubled his initial outlay on the home studio in an effort to improve the audio quality, with the inevitable consequences (it is worse). Will tells us about his Darty Party, we review PodCage in PodPodCageCage and we hear from the voice of reason, Tooty Baghorn.

 

All in all, it's 59 minutes of your life that you won't get back. Like every other minute you've ever had.

 

Gordano!

I Spy

Gordano!

 

Look! It's shiny! It's new! It's a 10radio-less Sorry Not in Service podcast!

 

Actually, on closer inspection - while it is a 10radio-less Sorry Not in Service podcast, and it is new, maybe we're over selling it's shininess. It's a dull coloured, slightly scraggy, rough at the edges podcast with poor quality audio equipment and two flailing hosts trying to make sense of their surroundings and having an existential crisis with bells on.

 

But fear not! There are no bears in your bathroom and the content of the podcast is still just about palatable.

 

Just like the world, it will get better. Or fizzle out, just like the world.

 

Gordano!

Too Much Sugar and Too Few Ideas

Gordano!

 

Well butter my sandwiches if it isn't the latest Sorry Not in Service podcast*

 

In this one we make an announcement, discuss our beloved Queen's strong arm, botch the weather, eat some food stuffs and bugger the Varmints ('s start of their show).

 

It's jam packed. Much like our sandwiches.

 

To listen to the more bloated version of the show with all the pop music in it, go to mixcloud.com

 

Gordano!

 

* it is

The Crowning of King Canute

Gordano!

 

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. 

 

That’s right, it’s the latest Sorry Not in Service podcast, resplendent in jewels and smelling of polos. In this one, we get historical, drunk, arrogant, challenged, visited by a generous benefactor and keen for exoneration from an infant.

 

If you'd like to hear the version with the pop music, go to mixcloud.com. For the secret to everlasting beetroot, go to sorrynotinservice.com

 

Gordano!

It's Not Just Masturbation #3

Gordano!

We wish you would stop doing that, we wish you would stop doing that, we wish you would stop doing that, it won't bring the party alive.

That's right one and all, it's YET ANOTHER placeholder podcast. The boy is wonderful but time consuming so rather than broadcast live on Friday 23rd, Simon and Will absconded from helping the family do the washing up on Christmas evening and recorded this podcast in Will's former chamber.

We'll be back on the radio soon, we promise/assume.

Gordano!

Stay Now

Gordano!

 

Make no bones about it, this is a podcast. So how would you even do that? Now that we're all in agreement, welcome to the Sorry Not in Service podcast and it's the return of the original lineup! That's right, Simon and Will back in the studio for the first time in two months for one last pay cheque.

 

In this one, we discuss the biggest things that have happened to us in the months since our last show. For Will it was a caravanning holiday and buying some jumpers, for Simon it was finding himself in a situation where the amount of credit that a financial services provider might offer him is lowered because he now has to tick the box 'do you have any dependants?' on application forms.

 

Much radio ensued and was then smeared all over the internet.

 

For the version with the pop music, go to mixcloud.com. For twenty £, go to a reverse charity event.

 

Gordano!